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Amendment One :: By Definition

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Merriam-Webster Online:

“Bigot – a person who is obstinately or tolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially one who regards or treats the members of a group with hatred and intolerance.
Intolerant (definition 2b) – unwilling to grant or share social, political, or professional rights. ” >> VAA1

Are you a bigot?

 
I decided years ago to not being a bigot. Live and Let live, keep your house rules & judgments to your family. The government should keep me safe from foul play & direct harm, not dictate how I live and experience my life.
If you promise to let me live my life, I promise to let you live yours. Better yet, I will let you live your life without harassment and without purposeless condemnation. I wont write my family rules in your house and I promise to  welcome you as a person and not as a description or classification.
 
I don’t care who you are attracted to I just care that in this ONE LIFE I wont be wasting my time worrying or dictating someone elses life, I’ll be to busy enjoying my own.
 
If I was born differently, if I was born a lesbian I pray with all my heart that I would be able to find love, to find my soul mate and celebrate it with the world.
 
If I didn’t go to that party in 2008, I would have never met my fiance. Back then I was 95% sure that I never wanted to do the love and marriage thing.  

A Beautiful Beginning

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Sunday I start spotting and my flow progresses throughout the evening to medium flow

Sunday morning pass a clot about the size of my palm! I was so freaked out but excited, my more recent periods didn’t involve any clot passing which is completely abnormal for me, so I’m seeing this as an awesome sign that my uterus is finally clearing out!

We take a two hour drive that morning to visit our potential wedding venues. My flow is extremely heavy, my head hurts with every bump and twist in the road, my face is flushed but I’m feeling happier than I have in such a long time. My hand in his we swerve and curve our way up the mountains to our venue selections.

And we found the perfect one. It’s a little hideaway in the outskirts of a small mountain town . Fine dining, very local waterfalls, exceptional view of the mountains, and a completely private hotel venue just for our reception and boarding! A game room, a 16 person jacuzzi, and so much more! We really scored on this place! I’ve never visited a place so clean and well maintained! The smallest blemishes in the building get repaired the evening it it witnessed. We fell in love with the area, the staff, the location, the view, the amenities!

I never imagined that I’d fall in love with a place that was of such spectacular quality so quickly. I’m a simpleton and this place is complicated simple elegance.

 

I’m having my FIRST natural period/whatever in 2.5 years & I’m preparing to marry my best friend. What a beautiful new beginning!

chevis-harris.wordpress.com

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I know I know I’m supposed to have quit posting here but I have news!

I started spotting today!!! This will be my first natural period in two and a half years! It’s a big deal. Now tomorrow, touring our wedding & reception venue!

The End To The Beginning

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I’ll be shutting down this blog temporarily or indefinitely to focus on our new blog ❤ Our Wedding Blog. (So follow that one). You can follow us and our journey through life. We’re really excited. He’ll be posting too, a family blog was actually his idea!  hahaha this is going to be fun! The blog will inevitably turn into our family blog which will also document our rekindled TTC journey, family life, and beyond!

I think it’s going to be our wedding blog then slowly evolve into our family blog.

Gosh we’re excited.

And encourage your North Carolina friends to VOTE May 8th. I wish we had a VOTE for our midwives but I’ll fight the battles as they become available.

Remember this amendment is to deny North Carolina’s recognition of Civil Unions out side of marriage, (Godparents, dating couples, and more are also affected) not just civil unions between homosexual parties.

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Amendment 1: “Marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this state.”

– North Carolina law already prohibits same-sex marriage…. so what is this amendment for?

– This means that non-traditional couples who enter into civil unions will be just as valid as two children wearing BFF bracelets.

Now read the wording for the Amendment again. Now, lets put our heterosexual brains back on. **DING** much better, I hate to admit it but I’m not the biggest fan of thinking about other people. Now lets think how does this amendment affect me? I, though newly engaged am still, one of North Carolina’s 222,000 traditional unmarried couples. I’m not married, but I have been in this heterosexual relationship for a few years now. If this amendment passes my heterosexual-religious union is only Facebook Official, now what does that mean? What if I did have a kid, because sometime heterosexual couples spontaneously do that before they get married right? Birds & Bees.

So what would that mean for unmarried men and women in a committed relationship or bound together by children? It means that Amendment One could:

  • Invalidate domestic violence protections
    -Domestic Violence: violence or physical abuse directed toward your spouse or domestic partner; usually violence by men against women. Since the laws for domestic violence require the parties to be domestic partners or spouses this amendment will legally make domestic violence nonexistent or prosecutable in North Carolina.
  • Weaken child custody and visitation rights.
    -Sorry baby-daddies, if you didn’t marry her she’s automatically more fit of a parent than you are wheather she’s on drugs, sleeping around, abusive. Since you didn’t marry her that babe is 20000% hers.
  • Threaten the right of partners to decide major medical decisions for their partner.
    -Because your partner is not legally your partner. So your brother that you haven’t seen in years has more say on whether we pull the plug than someone who you have been with every day for the past 6 years.
  • Disallow second-parent adoptions undertaken to ensure unmarried parents have equal legal ties and financial responsibilities for any children they adopt together.
    – I like this part since you’re not legally bound to someone through marriage you can’t jointly adopt a child. So if your brother dies and leaves you and your significant other as godparents only one of you can adopt the child & only one of you will be allowed to make decisions, sign, and legally parent the child. Oh and if one of you gets sick or dies the other can legally let the child slip into an orphanage and never have any penalties for abandonment.
    – If you got pregnant before you’re married if something happens to the mother (like in childbirth or in a traffic accedent) the father is basically SOL when it comes to claiming his child even if he was there 100% or even 200%
  • Invalidate certain trusts, wills and end-of-life directives.

Please, If you don’t believe me, do your research. This Amendment has NOTHING to do with marriage, and everything to do with domestic civil unions. Domestic Civil Unions include dating relationships, friendships, fiance situations, blended families, and other understood union bonds created between people that aren’t courthouse approved marriages. So basically if he beats you but you never walked down the aisle, it’s not domestic violence. Or if you’ve been living together and one of you gets sick or dies, all of your stuff goes to whoever”s family had their name on it last. Oh and if your boyfriend decides to sue you for all the dinner dates he took you out on while you were dating and you decide to start seeing someone else. It most likely applies to you now or it will apply to your children in the future. What parent expects their child to get married to the first person who bats their eyes their way, for legal purposes. Come on, THIS is destroying marriage. Getting married not because of the commitment or the love but because if you don’t you’re taking a bigger risk than if you do. Silliness

At least for women like me, who like to rush into things, now we have a valid reason to.

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Amendment 1: Has Nothing To Do With Marriage

He Liked It So Much…

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He put a ring on it!

Things are moving so fast! Now that we’re engaged we’ve been scrambling to book a venue, find a reliable photographer/videographer! We are so excited! We haven’t told our families yet, we’re waiting on doing that after my exams 🙂 I’m still upset at the pregnancy that didn’t continue but I find so much happiness when I ask my beau what he’s thinking about and he whispers “You said yes” and starts grinning really hard. We will be writing our own vows! Oh the joys of the long term relationship set on fire!

We go to start our pre-maritual counciling at the church May 15!

Two weeks after he proposed I whipped out the magazines I had been storing in anticipation of this day. Most of them were 2009-2011 copies of Weddings, SouthernWeddings, WeddingStar, & Engagement 101. I’m still working on building our perfect wedding setting.

Our Wedding Needs to Be:

– Timeless but Modern

-Colorful but Simple

-Welcoming but Intimate

-Traditional but Fresh

-Conservative but Liberal

-Exciting but Formal

-An event that guest will brag that they were there to witness

What We Have decided on:

Location (General):

– North Carolina Mountains! (We’re in the North Carolina Piedmont)

-Limiting it down to our TOP 5 Venues, then visiting them soon!

The Bridal Party:

-My Sister (She is my BESTEST FRIEND)

-5 of my closest Friends

-His 6 BFFs

The Guest List:

-Our Families

-Our Parent’s Families

 +Our Aunts/Uncles, Great Aunts Uncles, Grand Parents
+ Cousins Over 15 years old

-Our Parent’s Close Family Friends

-Our Close Friends who didn’t make the Bridal Party

We Will Not Be Inviting:

 – Co-Workers

-Unacquainted Neighbors

-Known Party Poopers

-People with questionable character

-Poorly Trained or excessively Young Children (I don’t want to deal with baby envy on my wedding night if we can’t have a baby you can’t bring yours, or have a screamer distract our adult evening or spiritual moments of silence, or have those two kids that want to run laps around the reception, can’t sit still, or have snot nosed kid at the d’oeuvres, or have that parent carrying around clingy child and not participating in the reception. I don’t want to stare at them for hours wishing that instead of a wedding I was announcing the birth of my own child. Don’t worry we’ll provide contact for evening child care as an option. Think of this as adult date night. Guest are EXPENSIVE so we’re only going to pay for the ones that wont potentially ruin our wedding or wedding mood.

 

Calling All Married Folk! I would love your tips. Any and all tips will be appreciated and helpful 🙂 Thanks.