Monthly Archives: January 2012

Tomato Potato

Status

Thanks Time Warner Cable for having such reliable internet service. Oh wait did I say reliable? I meant BOOOOOOOO!!!! I had to run all the way to campus to complete my homework assignments because yet again our modem isn’t putting out. This isn’t the first time this has happened Ughhhhhh.

I got two positive home pregnancy tests. Now I’m terrified to test again. My temps are decreasing and my appointment isn’t until the 10th :-/ Come on little guy hold on tight. Be strong for me, be strong be strong.

The Final Frontier :: Until December 21, 2014

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My Final Cycle until Wedding Bells Ring

I have decided that since this is my last cycle. That I’ll go out with a bang. I have been super monitoring my body. Why not? I anticipate testing February 1st if my cycle doesn’t restart before then. So this is a collection of my symptoms and saliva tests through my cycle. I have even put up nice pictures for you all with my fancy Ipod Touch and 6year old busted digital camera 🙂 All these things I do for you.

When I refer to ferns I’m talking about saliva ferning to detect estrogen levels. I use a fertility saliva microscope that I paid too much for so it would say. It works out great for me but I wish I would have just gone to Hobby Lobby and picked up one of those kid microscopes. They have more slides, they’re stronger, and they give you the option of saving your previous day’s specimen for comparison. Until then I’ll have to put together pages like this so that I can compare my ferning progress through my cycle.

When I refer to OPK I am talking about ovulation predictor kits. They detect your LH surge that triggers the release of a mature egg for ovulation

I will keep this page updated every 4-7 days until this cycle is over.

My Final Cycle:

Started December 29th and held on strong through the 2nd. (Happy New year to me) lol.

CD6-7:

– No ferns or hints of wannabe ferns

– Negative opk

CD8

-No ferns or hints of ferns

-Almost Positive OPK

CD9

– Branching but no ferns

-Negative OPK not close to positive at all

CD10

– Heavier branching than CD9

CD11

8Jan2012-CD11

-Stronger Partial Ferning; Branches and evolution of pre-fern structures are present

– EWCM

– POSITIVE OPK

CD12- Ovulation Day

9Jan2012-CD12

I didn’t let this one dry all the way. But you can see FULL FERN structures at the bottom right of the picture. I had many more long fern structures but I had misplaced my cameras.

– STRONG Positive OPK

-Very high cervix, I couldn’t find it no matter how I squatted.

CD13- 1DPO

-Virtually no CM

-Extremely negative OPK

CD14-1dpo

10Jan12-CD13

You can still see the branches and the once complete fern structures so I’m thinking at this time my egg’s fertile period was ending.

-Not much CM

CD14-1DPO

– ABUNDANCE of CREAMY CM. SO MUCH!

CD15 -2DPO

– No ferns

-Very negative opk

-ABUNDANCE OF CREAMY CM

CD16- 3DPO

-Did not check for ferns structures

– Opks are getting even lighter. I can barely find the line.

-Creamy/Sticky CM made more abundant by drinking water

CD17-4DPO

– Ferns are starting to reappear

– Creamy CM still present

– I’m feeling nauseous

-Low energy

CD18-5DPO

– Partial ferns are back! They look similar to CD 11

– In a pleasant mood

-Energy is running low

CD19 – 6dpo

– Back to Full Ferns. Misplaced my ipod and my camera. So no pictures for today

-Negative Pregnancy Test

CD20 -7dpo

-Ferning

-Increased sex drive

– Negative OPK

-Twinges begin

– Headache

CD21-8DPO

– Partial Ferning

– Increased Sex Drive

– Headache

-Very Tired

-Twinges are present in uterus area

-Insomnia

-Very Vivid Dreams

CD22- 9DPO

-Negative Pregnancy Test

-Negative opk very very faint line

-Increased Appitite

-Headache

-Tired

-More twinges

-Irritated Throat

-Urge to pee but not much in my bladder

-light Acid Reflex

CD23 January 20th 2012 10DPO

20Jan2012-CD23

-Creamy CM in abundance

-Softer Cervix

-Thirsty

-Increased appetite

-Headache

-Peeing more often (most likely caused by drinking more often)

CD24-11DPO

CD24-12DPO January 22, 2012

-EWCM & Creamy CM

-Headache

-Thirsty

-Twinges/Needle pokes

CD25-13DPO

– Spotting started at midnight (brown & light pink)

– High, Soft, closed cervix

– Headache

-Twinges Continue

-Creamy CM

CD26-14DPO

-Spotting continues (brown&pink a little reached the panty liner)

-Twinges continue

-Cramps

CD27-15DPO

-Spotting ends (brown)

-fertile like cm

– light cramping

CD28-16DPO January 26, 2012

-fertile like cm

-exhausted (napped all day)

-Took a PTest… looks promising

-Cant remember a thing, maybe its this persistent headache.

-exhausted (slept all day)

-emotional/sensitive/mood-swing

CD29-17DPO

-exhausted

-backache

-overheated in a 72degree room

-emotional/sensitive/mood-swing

-light dizzy spell

-bubbly tummy

-acid reflex

CD31-19DPO January 28, 2012

28Janb

– light all over cramping

– backache

– EXHAUSTED please please let me sleep.

CD32 20DPO

 

CD33 21 DPO (Impromtu u/s appointment)

– found a sac but no bean 😦 Please be there little one. There is so much love waiting for you in this world!

CD34 22DPO

CD35 23DPO 1 February 2011

-HEADACHE!! OMG HEADACHE X-(

-These ferns are so serious.

CD36 24DPO

Between a Wiggle and a Squiggle

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My enthusiasm has run its course. I am 1DPO and I think I have finally brought myself to the conclusion that I’m over trying to conceive. I will still be taking care and being gentle to body until this cycle is over just in case but I believe this could be the last you hear of my trying to conceive adventures until I am happily married.

I am over trying to control these things. God has a plan for me. I feel it in my heart that he has exceptional plans for my little one to be. He will grant me a child I know this when, where, how, who is all up to him.

For now I’ll keep everyone posted on my last 2 weeks of TTC. Though I am predicting that I’ll be getting my ring this year I’m also anticipating a prolonged engagement. So I may be trying to conceive again in a year or two or I’ll never be actively trying to conceive. It’s what I want to do. Forfeit my illusion of control. For me it doesn’t work if you’re “not preventing” or actively trying so why don’t I just take the back seat and let Jesus take the wheel.

Until then I’ll keep you all posted with my JOURNEY TO VEGAS diet and exercise progress every week starting on Saturday!

Fun Fact: There’s a cover band playing at my work location at this very moment that I type these words and the current song they’re playing is Sex on Fire by Kings of Leon.

Aside

CD10

Spotting Factor: woke up to some brown spotting. Start of a great day

OPK :  My OPK was negative this morning, late morning, this afternoon, and thirty minutes after that. After being very positive on CD8 and slightly less positive but still darker than the control on CD9. Today I can barely see the lines! That’s very exciting for me. Remember last cycle’s nightmare? That brought me to the sad conclusion that I was probably not ovulating at all that cycle?

Ferning Test: For the past two days I have been doing some heavy ferning on the saliva tests, and my temp was pretty low this morning. I believe it’s safe to say that this may be it! For real for real this time I think I’m ovulating.

Maybe it was just that other ovary that was causing me all of the problems.

FUN FACT: If I ovulate today or tomorrow my due date will be our 4th year anniversary! FX for an amazing anniversary gift!

CD10: Exciting Update

Exploration Series

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Now that the holidays have passed I have finally figured out what I wanted for Christmas, A Digital Microscope.

Picture this. After my morning workout, in my sun room I slip on my house slippers and into my lab with lemon water in hand. To my left is a microscope and organized specimens, to my right my faithful TI-93Titanium and a lone desktop computer that I use only for documenting my endeavors. In January and June I analyze my data collectively and add new chapters to my thesis 🙂

I think I could spend the rest of my life in that setting. I could spend the rest of my life researching and learning, discovering and growing.

Too bad I’m majoring in Finance. ONE MORE YEAR.

Aside

I think I have found my answer. It was hidden in my heart. I’m homesick. I am completely and totally home sick. I miss my family, I miss my sister, I miss my brother, I miss dinners, I miss being surrounded by people who I love unconditionally and who love me the same .

Something is going on inside of me. I have become homesick. So I went home. But I went to the wrong home. I was surrounded by family but I couldn’t help but feel ill like I was still missing something big. I have been driving myself crazy trying to build my own nest and create my own family because that’s what I want the most a family. The feeling of family. It wasn’t until about 3o minutes ago that I realized that I have been trying to cure the wrong type of homesickness. I may have steered myself onto the wrong path.

I went to church Christmas Day and for once in the past year I felt at ease. I felt a relaxation that I haven’t felt in years. My mind was clear from all worry including this ridiculous TTC excursion I have been on. I found my answer not in the sermon, not in the readings, but in the presence. I want to go back home to my faith. Completely and totally, I think.

The moment I realized this was when I was spending my private time on BabyZone community and somehow my mind switched from Pregnancy Tests 101 to suddenly finding myself  browsing catholicscomehome.org . Why was I there? Why have my fingers led me here? What is going on. This is secret TTC research hour. So I start browsing through the board posts and I stumble upon this post that sounded like it was there specifically to talk to me.:

Ok ladies. I just have to share this. I know some may not be a believer but I am whole heartedly. Am I not a believer whole heartedly? I have been TTC again for a little while. Since last April. I am on my 4th round of clomid and hoping this is our cycle. DH is self-employed and I only work part-time. Finances are just a joke right now. I have been struggling whether or not it is a smart choice to bring another child into the picture even though my heart truly desires one. I have those same struggles every single day when I think about how things should be. How do I know that I am on the right path? What if I am not, how will I know? I have been trusting my heart but all that led me to was cysts, tears, and heartache. I have been struggling with TTC in general and maybe just giving up thinking that God wasn’t ready for us to have another baby. Well I just prayed yesterday morning. When was the last time I prayed with an honest open heart? Does he even hear me. I feel as though my prayers have gotten weaker and weaker over the years and now I hardly pray with a honest heart. What’s wrong with me. Just poured my heart out to God.Can I even still do that? Told him he knows my desires and fears and asked him to give me peace. Give me a sign, just to give me something that gave me the peace that i needed that I was going to have another baby and to keep trying. Yeah, a sign would be great. Then if I was not going to have another baby to take this desire from me. To remove the need for a baby from my life. That too, if you don’t want this to be lord please let me know so I can stop killing myself over every failed month. This girl who is a friend of my sisters, so and aquaintence I guess) I never really talk to her at all. Its been a year or so since the last time I have even spoke to her. She sent me a message on facebook that said “Charish this scripture came to mind today and I just feel like God wanted me to share it with you. Ps 127 3-5: Children are a heritage of the Lord, offspring a reward of him. What have I done to deserve his reward? Am I even still Catholic? 4 Like arrows in the hands of the warrior are born in one’s youth. 5 Blessed is the man whos quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they content with their opponents in court.” I cannot believe She sent me this, she has no idea we are TTC, she really has no idea about any of my life. God knew I needed something. This was such a blessing in my heart and I just had to share.

Around this time I find myself on the CatholicsComeHome.org website and the first thing they say is the word family and instantly my heart is filled with love and a desire that I still don’t understand. In my Journey to Vegas, I will also be adding a journey to a whole me. I am not sure if I’m making these feeling and reasonings up or if I really feel this way. Am I just a victim of the new websites advertising ploys or am I really seeking to re-establish my home in my faith.

So many questions and no way for me to find my answers. Help?

Inside My Heart